He Never Let Go

I was raised in a christian family and went to a born-again, mission-minded christian church for all of my childhood.  I took it all to heart, accepted Jesus as my savior and was water baptised when I was 12yrs. old. In my teen years, I faced some difficult choices but through the support of my family, friends and church, my faith grew strong.  Then, somewhere along the way, I began to lose it.  Things weren't going the way I'd planned, life took some turns, so I took things into my own hands.  I took God out of the driver's seat and put myself there instead.  Big mistake.  It wasn't long before I stopped attending church regularly and I didn't return for many years.  During that time, my family almost split up and I began to question who I really was.  Perhaps I was too "straight-laced" after all, perhaps I needed to loosen up a bit and have fun.  There's nothing wrong with having fun but I had learned to compromise and to justify doing things I once thought were wrong. I felt so alone. But, God was still drawing me.  He was that still, small voice in the back of my mind.  Thoughts would come to me about things I had learned as a child in Sunday School; I would remember something my Pastor had taught years ago; I would hear songs that would prick my heart; I would see old friends in the store and go out of my way to avoid them.  I knew I needed to get right with God. Still I waited. Then, I faced a crossroad, a trial that shook me to my core and forced me to really make a decision about my life.  What did I really believe?  What did I really want?  It was time to get serious.  I chose to go back to church and get my life right with God.  I knew that I would find my help there as I always had before, where the word of God that was brought always seemed to minister right to me, whatever my need was.  And it was still there. I was encouraged to really seek God for myself, to really have that personal relationship with Him.  I'm far from perfect, believe me, I mess up a lot. Like I said, I am a "work in progress".  But I know I'm heading in the right direction and I trust God who is once again in the driver's seat.  I encourage you to do the same-really make time to pray daily and read your Bible. If you don't know who God is, he's just a prayer away.  He loves you and wants to give you joy and peace in your life.  I served God for 20+ years and I find that only now do I feel I'm just beginning to get to know Him.  My desire is different.  I went through some things, learned some hard lessons, so I appreciate his great love for me so much more now.  Though I failed Him, still He never failed me.  He never let go of my hand. My desire is not to preach to you but to just share my experience, with the hope that you might gain something from it and be encouraged today.  Thanks for taking the time to read my post today.  God Bless you.