Continue On

                                                      CONTINUE ON 
        (by Roy Lessin, author of How to Be the Parents of Happy and Obedient Children)


                 A woman fretted over the usefulness of her life.
                 She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.
                 She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband
                      and children would make a difference.
                 At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did
                      seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.
                "Is it worth it?" she often wondered.  "Is there something better that I could
                      be doing with my time?"
                  It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard
                      the still, small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart.
                  You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.
                  Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye, but I notice.
                  Much of what you give is done without remuneration.
                  But I am your reward.
                  Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be
                      without your support.
                  Your influence on him is greater than you think
                      and more powerful than you will ever know.
                   I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.
                   Your children are precious to me.
                   Even more precious than they are to you.
                   I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me.
                   What you invest in them is an offering to Me.
                   You may never be in the public spotlight, but your obedience shines as a
                       bright light before Me.
                   Continue on.  Remember you are my servant.
                   Do all to please me.
                

A Mother's Heart-Teaching Love

As mothers, our plates are so full with all the things that must be accomplished in a day.  We have to work, have appointments, errands to run, a daily schedule to follow, etc. I don't know about you, but I'm certainly guilty of rushing my kids out the door, or telling them we'll do something they want to do LATER because I'm just so busy.  My patience has worn thin many a day.  But who am I really disappointed with? Myself.  If I had just planned things better, gotten up earlier, did this or that, I wouldn't be snapping at the kids, right?  That sets the tone for the day-disappointment and frustration with who? myself.  But who gets the brunt of it? the kids (and sometimes my poor husband).  As mothers, we carry a big weight around-a weight of responsibility.  We want to be the perfect mom perfect house, perfect kids, home-cooked healthy meals, homemade costumes, playful, patient, calm, loving, and supportive, etc.   You get the picture, right-the Beaver's mom.  In reality, we can't do this all on our own.  We have good intentions, yes, but we're human with human weaknesses.  We need God's help to give us strength and to help us overcome these areas.  Michelle Duggar describes her defining frustrating prayer this way: " Father, I don't want my children to remember me as a mama who was constantly fussing at them and raising my voice at them.  I want them to remember me as a joyful and happy mama who loves being with them.  God, please help me in those difficult moments to have the right response to the anger I feel welling up inside me."  Isn't that the prayer of all moms?  God answered her prayer and showed her a better way to handle these situations.  She is still struggling with that issue, because she's human, but she's reminded of the damaging effects that anger has on the kids and so she continues to work at it.  I think that's as honest as they come.  That pretty much sums up my situation exactly.  Stumble, feel bad, apologize to the kids, then stumble again, a continuous cycle, and I wonder what my kids are learning from me exactly.  Now, I've never seen Michelle yell at her kids on their TV show, but it's nice to see that there's hope for moms like me-but she didn't overcome instantly.  She had to work at it. It's a daily struggle that she goes to God in prayer with and He helps her.  We have to do the same thing.  Don't beat yourself up because you fall or have a bad day.  Go to God, talk with your kids, apologize (yes, apologize) be honest with them about your struggle, then go on.  Your kids know you're not perfect.  But if they know you keep picking yourself up, that you're seeking God for help with it, it's hope for them, too, when they face their own struggles. When they see you improving and overcoming, it'll encourage them as well.

Though the following was Michelle's answer and it may indeed help you, I encourage you to seek God for yourself and let Him guide you for the answer to your own  personal situation-He may have a different answer for you.
A soft answer turns away wrath; but grievous words stir up strife. (scripture reference) I'm not going to bicker, not going to nag, not going to ask the kids ten times to do something.  I'm going to lovingly say it once, and if they don't obey, then I'll quickly correct them in love, encourage them in a soft voice to do what's right, and then move on.  I'm going to use a soft, low voice, no matter what.  If they don't listen, I'll follow through with correction, but even then, I'll stay calm and speak softly.

Believe me, this sounds impossible to me right now.  I see my inadequacies and failures, BUT, our God is a God of impossibilities.  Is anything too hard for the Lord?  So, I will put my trust in the Lord and let Him make the change in me.  All He requires is a willing heart, right?  He is the potter, I am the clay.  Who says the potter cannot knock out all the bubbles that are causing imperfections in my pot and mold me into something beautiful.  Who am I to say it's not possible.  If God saved you, forgave your sins, healed your broken heart, filled you with His Holy Spirit and set you on a new course in life, can't he shape you into a wonderful mom, too?  He can do ANYTHING!  All we have to do is trust and believe.  You trust Him with your soul, your family, your finances, your healing, your marriage, why not this?  It doesn't matter what your family background is or what things you experienced as a child, you are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of your parents/caregivers.  You may never have experienced the love of a parent and don't know how to love a child. He can heal you of those hidden hurts, the low self-confidence and fears and replace them with understanding, loving kindness, gentleness, patience, etc.  He can mold you into something beautiful, something after His own heart.  Isn't that what we all want to have-a clean heart, a right spirit.  I challenge you-Give it all to Jesus and watch what He will do with your life.    

            

Have you ever had one of these moments?

Have you ever caught yourself behaving like your mom or saying something to your kids you swore you'd never ever say when you had your own kids?  Lately, it's felt like that around our house.  My husband and I are parents to three beautiful kids, ages 14, 10, & 6.  Each one has had their moments of testing us, but currently it's the middle one.  I know I must have gone through this with my older son and we all survived, but now it seems new all over again.  This morning, it was an inappropriate Youtube video that got us going, then it quickly spread to "lolly-gagging" as I would call it and not getting ready for school.  (I'm sure all you moms of pre-teens can relate.)  It ended with voices raised and a very ugly attitude.  Now, my son is a beautiful, tender-hearted, christian boy and on the whole, I am so proud of him.  But this attitude thing has got to go.  So, what's the best way to get at the root of the problem?  Pray.  God knows my son and He knows me.  He knows how to parent better than anyone.  He knows the best way to get to the heart of the matter-our hearts.  We just don't want our kids to be well-behaved robots, we want their hearts to be in the right place, don't we?  We want kids who have a heart for God and know how to make wise decisions and choices in their lives, by looking to God for their help.  What better way to show them that, than by going to God ourselves at times of decision in our own lives.  Parenting is not being perfect all the time.  None of us are.  Our kids don't need a perfect Mom and Dad, they need honest ones.  They need a Mom that's not afraid to say "Hey, I messed up and I'm so sorry about that, but  I love you and God is going to help me to change.  You are so precious to me and you deserve my best.  Thank you for being patient with me and  for loving me."  Whether you see your kids everyday or you haven't seen them in years, your children need you.  If there's a step-mother or step-father in their lives, they still need YOU.  Don't compare yourself to someone else and get discouraged.  They need YOU.  You are their flesh and blood, you will always have a special place in their hearts that no one can fill but you alone.  They may be confused at times and throw hurtful words at you, but there's a part of them that will always be longing for a relationship with you. We all make mistakes with our kids, not one of us is perfect.  Just continue to love them and go to God in prayer.  He will show you the way.  He can heal the broken hearts and make you whole again, you and your kids.  You are not a failure.   He can make something beautiful out of the broken pieces of your life.  You CAN make it...with God's help.

    

Do we have what it takes?

                                                                                
I remember when my oldest child was born, my first thoughts were "Here is this child who is totally dependent on his father and I for everything..Will he be able to trust in us the way I trusted in my own parents to meet my every need?"  I'm sure I'm not alone here.  "Here is this helpless life that we've been given...do we have what it takes to raise him to know Christ and to be able to stand against all the opposition he will have to face in this world?"  It all seemed so overwhelming at the time.

How quickly the years have gone by and it's hard to comprehend that in just a few short years, my son will be thrust out into the world having to make his own choices and begin his future as a man.  Where has the time gone?  As I sit here today, I wonder if we've given him what he'll need..have we laid a strong enough foundation for him to stand when the storms of life come?

You know, I think we all question our ability to raise our kids right.  We may not have all the answers but we serve a God who does.  I sincerely believe that if we earnestly pray and seek God about it, He will give us direction and wisdom on how to teach and guide our children.  When my son began asking questions about God, I felt inadequate to answer him and it caused me to go to my knees in prayer.  I want to pray as a fellow christian mother once prayed, "Lord, let them have a desire to serve You and let them be established in Your word; let their roots go down deep so they can stand when the storms come.  Protect them from the snares of this world. Shelter them under your wing."   In this world, we know our children will face temptation.  What's unfortunate is that parents have come to accept it as "normal" for their children to experiment with the temptations of sex, drugs/alcohol, even spiritualism and we've come to think that it's a "phase" they will grow out of.  I don't believe that. "They have to try things", people say. I did not have to try drugs to know they could kill me.  Why even let them be exposed to such things.  In the Bible, did the good shepherd allow his sheep to wander off with the wolves for a time, trusting that they would find their way back on their own.  NO!  He went running after them to rescue them from certain death. His fear was that they would be devoured, that the enemy would destroy them.  He loved them enough to go out and try to save them.  Did he sit by and do nothing when they got too close to the edge? I heard a story recently, of a young teen who wanted to experiment with witchcraft because her friends made it look "cool and fun".  When the parent talked to a minister's wife about it, she was told it was just a phase that the girl would grow out of.  I don't believe we can tell our kids that fire is dangerous and then just let them play around with it.  There are some things you just don't mess with.

I just want to encourage you as parents to go to God with your concerns about your children.  Each one is different and special in His eyes and He loves them more than you and I ever could, and He's entrusted them to you.  Maybe you can't be with them 24/7, like you'd like to be, but you can pray.  Prayer is our greatest weapon.   He alone knows their hearts and their silent struggles.  It may take time and vigilant prayer, but I know if we seek Him, He will give us the wisdom and opportunity to speak a word of truth to them, to plant/water a seed for Him in their lives, to help guide our children, no matter how old they are.  I believe if our kids can keep their focus on the Lord, keep their mind set on Him, be determined to stand and go to Him in prayer continually, I know they can make it.  They do not have to become ensnared in this world.  They can stay clear of it. Parents-Don't let your guard down.  Be vigilant. Watch who they hang around with, what they're reading and watching, even what the schools are teaching them.  I encourage you to speak up and don't be afraid to say something.  Remember, they're watching us, looking for someone to follow...someone who will be that example to them of how to live this life.  Let that someone be you- Let them see Jesus in you.  That's a daily struggle for all of us as we're all well aware of our own weaknesses.  But let that be your inspiration to pick yourself up and fight another day.  It'll be worth it all when we see Jesus. Keep up the fight of faith.  God Bless You.

     

How to have a Meek and Quiet Spirit-Part 2

Yesterday, I began a study on what it means to have a meek and quiet spirit.  You're welcome to read along with me from a book by Teri Maxwell entitled, Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.  While I don't homeschool my children, I am interested in learning how to have a meek and quiet spirit, especially with my children.  I hope you'll join me.

So, what do the words "meek" and "quiet" mean?  Meek is defined by Webster's 1858 Dictionary as mild of temper, soft, gentle, not easily provoked or irritated.  Quiet is defined as peaceable, not turbulent, not giving offense, mild, meek and contented.  I did not see the word weak in there at all, which is a connotation I always associated with these words.  In reality, I think it requires an inner strength.

I Peter 3:4 of the KJV Bible says, But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  
Matthew 11:29 says, Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. So, we see Jesus is meek.  Then, this is certainly something we should strive to be.  When you first envisioned yourself having children, how did you see yourself interacting with them?  Is it different than your day-to-day reality?  If you're like me, it probably is, unfortunately.  We don't always behave towards our children the way we had hoped we would.  Oh, we love them, and we start off each day saying, today will be different; I'll do things right today.  But within the first few minutes, we've already failed and we are left discouraged again.

So, what are the obstacles that keep us from having a meek and quiet spirit?  Let's look at some of those...Did your children wake up fighting with each other?  Is there a bed unmade that should have been made long ago? Is the sink full of dishes from last night? Is your husband unappreciative of all you do?  Did the alarm clock wake you up as soon as it seems you went to sleep?  Are you preoccupied with other personal or financial issues?  Most meek and quiet spirit robbers fall into the categories of fear, disorganization and anger.  I believe the Lord offers us great hope in helping us to overcome these obstacles.  "With God all things are possible", right?   I hope you'll continue to read along with me and see how we, too, can learn  practical, real-life ways to obtain this in our own lives.      

To Have a Meek and Quiet Spirit

Ok.  So, yesterday I had one of those moments where I was totally disappointed in the way I handled a situation with my middle son. You've never been there, right? I know, more than we'd like to admit.  He came in the living room when I was on the computer and just had a complete meltdown.  But how did I respond?  "You'll be ok, don't worry about it." and just shrugged him off and went back to what I was doing.  Wow.  NOT exactly what he needed from me.  I knew I needed to check myself.  I wasn't thinking of him, I was thinking about me and my own desire to finish what I was doing.  Then my mind flashed back to my own childhood.  If I had a moment like that, my mother would've stopped whatever she was doing and sat down and hugged me and let me pour out my heart to her.  Then, she would've softly tried to reassure me and tell me how much she loved me and all the positives about myself.  I definitely had not done that with my son.  So, I immediately stood up and went to my son, put my arms around him and hugged him and let him stay there as long as he wanted.

This is not a one-time deal with me.  I'm sorry to say that I've found myself responding in an irritated tone all too often.  I've been there physically, yes, but not emotionally.

It got me thinking about the kind of mother God wants us to be.  I believe He wants us to have a meek and quiet spirit as wives and as mothers also.  I am SO not there yet, and I've tried so many times in my own strength and it seems I can never succeed.  But, I know who can give me strength when I am weak-Jesus. He can help me be the mother that my kids need me to be.  So, I'll keep praying and seeking God.

With that, I'd like to do a little study on what it means to have that meek and quiet spirit.  I don't know how many posts it will be, maybe just a couple or maybe a few.  I'll be reading the book Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell.  I don't homeschool, but I'd sure like to learn more about how to have a gentle spirit like that.  So, I hope you'll join me and maybe we'll find encouragement along the way, together.